wakey wakey hands off snakey
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
