He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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