i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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