atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Randomize
