True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
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