like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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