so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I wish life had little blips of pornography
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
be right there i have to get my cape
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Randomize
