I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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