should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Randomize
