2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
