i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
