i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
found the other keg... it's in the tree
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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