Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
