covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize
