On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
3pm strippers are depressing
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
