I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
