I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
