He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
