I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
