we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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