do herpes really smell.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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