it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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