ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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