Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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