.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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