We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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