sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
