Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
