So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
