i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Of course I have a pirate flag
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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