Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Randomize
