what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
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