3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
