Swine flu. Run for my life!
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
