Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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