I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
