These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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