Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
