it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
