Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
