If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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