can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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