How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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