problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I have already put on my inside pants.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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