Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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