I heard we made out
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
