I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
