when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
