i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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