just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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