I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
