Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
